Welcome to East and North Hertfordshire NHS Trust maternity services. We are delighted to be able to support you and your partner during this special time in your lives.
You play an important role in the pregnancy, birth and postnatal care of your baby. Becoming a parent can be an emotional experience, you may also have questions or need some support and we want to ensure you feel involved, informed and respected throughout the process – so we have created this information for you.
Attendance at maternity appointments/units:
You are very welcome to attend all maternity appointments with the permission of the mother/birthing person, though there may be occasions when we need to talk to your partner by themselves briefly. You should be offered opportunities to discuss any questions or concerns you may have.
Supporting during pregnancy:
You can do many things to support your partner during pregnancy:
- Accompanying your partner to antenatal appointments and classes: This can help you learn more about the pregnancy, birth and baby. It can also show your support and interest in your partner’s health and wellbeing.
- Help your partner to have a healthy lifestyle: This includes you both eating well, staying active, avoiding smoking and alcohol and your partner taking regular vitamin D and folic acid supplements.
- Be involved in making decisions about the pregnancy and birth: You can help your partner to make a birth plan, pack a hospital bag, choose a name for the baby and prepare the nursery.
- Help you partner to cope with any pregnancy symptoms: Be there to support your partner with any pregnancy symptoms they may experience and understand what these may be – such as morning sickness, tiredness, mood swings or sore breasts.
- Share your feelings and expectations with your partner: You may have your own worries or fears about pregnancy, the labour and/or becoming a parent, or you may feel exciting or curious. Talking openly and honestly can help you both to bond with each other and the baby.
- Plan ahead for the birth and the first weeks with your baby: Think about what you need to do, such as arranging transport, sorting out finances and time off work, and preparing your home for baby. You can also make a birth plan with your partner that outlines their preferences and choices for labour and birth.
Supporting during labour and birth:
With the agreement of the mother/birthing person, we encourage you to be present and supportive during labour and birth if you feel able to, as well as after the baby is born. During labour and birth we encourage fathers/partners to stay at any time, and up to two birth partners can be present in birthing areas.
Here are some tips to support your partner:
- Be present and attentive: Your partner may need your emotional and physical support, such as holding their hand, wiping their face or giving them sips of water.
- Help them relax and breathe: You can remind them of the breathing and relaxation techniques you learned in antenatal classes, or breathe with them if it helps.
- Massage them and help them move: You can massage their back and shoulders or apply counter-pressure on their hips or sacrum to ease the pain. You can also help them change position or move around to find the most comfortable one.
- Support their decisions: You can help your partner communicate with the midwife or doctor, and make sure their wishes are respected. You can also support them if they choose to have pain relief or a c-section, even if it’s different from their original birth plan.
- Tell them what’s happening: You can keep your partner informed of the progress of labour and what’s happening with the baby. You can also ask the midwife or doctor any questions you have.
- Cut the umbilical cord: If you want to, you can cut the umbilical cord after your baby is born. Talk to the midwife in advance if you would like to do this. They may ask you when the time is right whether you would like to do so, but do not rely on this.
These are just some ways you can help your partner during labour and birth, but, remember that every situation is different and you may need to adapt to what your partner needs and wants.
Visiting times
If you are worried or concerned
If you have any concerns about your baby’s development or health, or for the health of your partner or loved one during pregnancy, talk to your doctor or midwife. They can provide you with accurate information and reassurance, as well as to address any medical issues that may arise.
If your baby’s pattern of movement changes (reduced episodes of baby kicking or moving in the womb), or if the mother/birthing person experiences vaginal bleeding or feels unwell, it is essential to contact maternity triage immediately, they will be able to advise you on the next steps and whether you need to be reviewed in triage. To contact the maternity triage team, please dial 01438 286168.
Hertfordshire Directory of Resources for Fathers
Antenatal education
This course offered by Health Visitors and Family Support Workers from the Hertfordshire Family Centre Service offer covers all the essentials you need to prepare for parenthood and the early years:
LGBTQ+ resources
- LGBT+ Parenting – FFLAG: Links to resources for LGBT+ people wishing to start a family
- Having a baby if you’re LGBT+: NHS information on ways to become a parent if you’re LGBT+ including details on testosterone and pregnancy, and chest-feeding.
- Rights to family leave and pay for LGBTQ expecting parents: Rights for birth or non-birth parent of a child.
NHS information
The NHS website has a good range of information available for partners:
Infant feeding
You can play an important role in supporting your partner and your baby with infant feeding. Feeding your baby is an opportunity to build a close and loving relationship with them. For more information and advice, you can learn more by:
- Visiting the NHS Choices by clicking here
- Learning more about the UNICEF UK Baby Friendly Initiative by clicking here
- Visiting the World Health Organization website
Baby crying
Babies cry for many reasons, and sometimes it can be hard to figure out what they need. Sometimes babies who may be otherwise healthy, can cry excessively and cannot be easily settled. This can be upsetting and stressful for new parents. You can find out more about what crying is normal in babies and how you can manage this by visiting the ICON Cope website here.
Safe sleeping
One of the best ways to keep your baby safe and healthy is to follow the advice around safe sleeping. This includes placing your baby on their back to sleep, keeping them smoke-free during pregnancy and after birth, and sharing a room with them for the first six months. You should use a firm, flat, waterproof mattress in good condition and avoid overheating or overlying your baby. These tips can help reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) and ensure a better sleep for you and your baby. You can find out more about SIDS by clicking here to visit the Lullaby Trust – Safer sleep for babies and support for families page.
